Crisis Education

5 July 2020 - How I Changed

When the Covid pandemic reached Philadelphia, I was in graduate school.  The doors to my last semester and beautiful, sun drenched studio were shut on March 13th. I have been in isolation ever since.

After a week of shock and a collective depression spiral, I decided to search for beauty and good news. As the list grew I sent out emails with what I found to anyone who wanted it in my world. 

Then George Floyd's life was stolen by some murderous cops in Minneapolis.

I wish I had started writing these words as they occurred.  This is a journaling to share my continuous mourning, re-education, education, deep query (thank you @artist.cjensen for the most appropriate phrase ever) and debriefing. I am responsible for growing as an ally and being a part of the solution.  I, like many others, thought that I was doing the right things.  Some yes, but underneath I was still asleep.  Every time I woke up a little bit more, I was surprised that I was still waking up.  It took me a few weeks of this deep query to realize that that surprise was the problem.  Not what I was surprised to discover that I had not realized or remembered, but the fact that I was still surprised.  I do not have it all figured out.  I know nothing. I am nervous editing as I write this, self-correcting hoping that I will not hurt anyone with my words.

George Floyd Education

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©2020 all text and images by Dori Miller